


Jedi Hangups (And How To Unlearn Them)

by Jen425



Series: The Wheels Keep Turning [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Ahsoka - E. K. Johnston, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka was a Jedi and it shows?, And Leia near the beginning, Cuddling and Snuggling, F/F, Getting Together, Miara shows up at the end here too, The Jedi kind of sucked, like not GT level but…
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: Ahsoka visits Kaeden on Alderaan.





	Jedi Hangups (And How To Unlearn Them)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Star Wars Rare Ship monthly challenge. My prompt was kaesoka + unrequited affection.
> 
> It was much harder than expected.

Ahsoka smiles as she reaches Alderaan. A stolen ship and a close call, but she has intel and the alliance of another group of rebels. Nothing new.

 

It’s been four years since the fall of the Empire, now. It’s certainly a routine. And yet… sometimes Ahsoka thinks about before everything went wrong. Perhaps she always will.

 

She thinks about the black hole that had replaced Anakin’s sun in her mind. She thinks about the Vod’e. She thinks about Rex, in particular, and how he’d saved her. She thinks about when the Temple has seemed safe and impenetrable.

 

And about how all of it ended.

 

Ahsoka smiles as she slips into orbit. Actual visits to Alderaan are usually to be avoided lest they draw attention, but she does need to check in in person every now and again.

 

And there are people she wants to see, after business.

 

First is Leia, of course. Ahsoka would have had to been blind, deaf, and Force blind not to notice Anakin’s relationships. Leia’s presence sings like Anakin’s once had, and, well, all humans looks similar, to her, but Leia does look like Senator Amidala.

 

And second is Kaeden.

 

Ahsoka pulls her hood down low over her horns as he rides the shuttle to where Kaeden and Miara had moved. Though Kaeden is almost done with medical training, she’s still here.

 

And she welcomes Ahsoka enthusiastically when she walks in.

 

“Ahsoka!” Kaeden says, smiling awkwardly yet also brightly. It’s cute. Wait, what? Huh. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

 

Ahsoka smiles, crossing her arms.

 

“I was on planet,” she says. “I wanted to say hello.”

 

Kaeden laughs, taking Ashoka’s hand and pulling her in.

 

“Well then come on in.”

 

Ahsoka laughs, takes her hand back, and walks in.

 

“Thank you, Kaeden,” she says. “It’s been a while.”

 

Kaeden laughs.

 

“Yes, it has,” she says. “And all of it was out of comm range?”

 

Ahsoka shrugs.

 

“I’ve been mostly along the Outer Rim,” she explains. “Sorry.”

 

Kaeden just shakes her head.

 

“No big deal,” she says. “You’re doing Top Secret Stuff.”

 

Ahsoka laughs.

 

“Sounds less life-or-death like that,” she says. “How are you, Kaeden? And Miara?”

 

Kaeden smiles, sitting down on the couch. Ahsoka sits next to her.

 

“I’m being assigned to a… useful ship, soon,” she says. “For some space training. And Miara got into flight academy!”

 

Really?

 

“Kaeden, that’s great news!” Ahsoka cries. Kaeden nods, leaning forwards and putting her hands over Ahsoka’s.

 

“It really is,” she says. “But it’s nice to see you, can you tell me anything about your adventures?”

 

Ahsoka hmms, pulling back a little. Kaeden does the same.

 

“Still have the bandages on from Bondal,” she says. “But I got what I needed everywhere I was going. The best part is… definitely when I see the people I help feel  _ hope _ .”

 

“It’s all we have.”

 

Ahsoka sighs.

 

“I guess so,” she says. “But hope has to spring from something, and that something is eventually growing large enough to fight and smart enough to unite. But that’ll take time…”

  
  
  


Kaeden sighs, wanting to reach out and put her hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder, but that always seems to make the woman just shrug her off and close off, like it’s not something she’s used to.

 

Probably the whole “former Jedi” thing. She’s heard that Jedi kept to themselves, so that’s probably it. Must have been cold, growing up like that.

 

“Well I think you’re my hope,” Kaeden says, instead, “you may not be a Jedi, but you can still use a lightsaber, and you saved me. You got us out, even if there’s not much left to go back to.”

 

Ahsoka sighs.

 

“The Clone Wars was easier,” she says. “I… I wasn’t alone. I guess I have help, now, when I need it, but… it’s not the same.”

 

Kriff it. Kaeden reaches forwards and wraps her arms around Ahsoka. Ahsoka, who all but doesn’t react.

 

“W—What?” Ahsoka asks. Kaeden smiles, pulling back.

 

“I know it’s not the same,” she says. “And I wish that you’d never lost anything, that you still had your family alive and in your trust… but I’m here for you.”

 

“Kaeden…” Ahsoka all but whispers, hands slowly curling around Kaeden’s grip on them.

 

Well, she’s gone this far.

 

“I love you, Ahsoka,” she says. “And I know you’re not a Jedi but you still grew up with their culture. And you’re hurting, so I needed to show you that I’m here.”

 

Ahsoka looks down.

 

“The Jedi believed that attachment lead to the Dark Side,” she says, “and physical touch breeds attachment. Even… even Anakin only ever hugged me if one of us had almost died.”

 

…Ah.

 

“But… thanks,” Ahsoka says, smiling. Then she looks up, gripping Kaeden’s hands tightly.

 

“And I… I love you, too.”

 

(Miara’s only comment when she came home to find Ahsoka curled awkwardly into Kaeden’s lap was “Finally!”

 

to which Kaeden threw a pillow at her.)

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @flaim-ita
> 
> Pillowfort: Flaim


End file.
